What makes for a healthy romantic relationship differs from couple to
couple. Forming a trusting and positive partnership takes effort and
time. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen overnight. For any
relationship to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put in some
work. Below are some habits that will help create and maintain a happy
and healthy twosome.
Communication
Communication is key. It is one of the most important qualities a
healthy relationship. However, not everyone knows how to communicate
properly ... or even communicate at all. Happy and healthy couples have
this game down. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love
you” often and offering compliments. They also discuss the bad instead
of sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move forward and grow, you
two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how
awkward or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting and
fulfilling relationship.
Respect
Aretha Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s got to
be important. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a
joyful relationship means respecting your partner’s time, heart,
character, and trust. However, there are many things people do in
relationships that can break down respect, like name-calling, talking
negatively about the other to friends or family, and/or threatening to
leave the relationship.
Quality Time, Not Quantity
It’s all about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time
you and your partner spend together. The most important part is about
the quality of this time. There’s a huge difference between having
dinner at a table while talking about your day at work, versus having
dinner while sitting on a couch watching the latest episode of
The Voice.
It’s fine to zone out together and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial
to make sure you two are still engaging and spending quality time
together to maintain a deep connection.
Time Apart
Spending time together with your partner is important. But just as
important is spending time apart. Being able to do your own things and
remain independent is vital. When couples spend too much time together,
it can create an unhealthy codependence. Maintaining healthy boundaries
and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting partnership.
Love Languages
Gary Chapman
came up with the notion that men and women have five love languages.
People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words of
affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and
physical touch. It’s important to know which love language speaks to
you, along with your partner. Telling each other what makes you feel
loved and special helps both of you stay connected. Furthermore, make
sure you are attending to your partner’s love language consistently.
Appreciation
Often, we forget to let other people in our lives know that we
appreciate them. We think it, but we don't remember to show it. This
occurs in our romantic relationships as well. Show your special someone
that you love him or her. This could be done with words, cards, flowers,
acts of kindness, or more. Remember, a flower a day keeps the fights at
bay. Okay, maybe not every day, but you get the point.
Positive Vs. Negative
Sometimes, we get caught up in the negative. We hate our jobs, are
annoyed with our friends, and our boyfriend or girlfriend is getting on
our last nerve. Uh-oh, have we been drinking too much of that half-empty
glass? It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities, in
contrast to the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our
significant other. So instead of focusing on the bad, let's make a
conscious effort to look at the good.
Choose Your Battles
There are arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s crucial to
bring issues to the forefront, and work through the hard times together.
However, I don’t think arguing over your SO using your favorite coffee
cup should be one of those. Choose your battles wisely, because people
in happy and healthy relationships do.
Sex
Let’s talk about sex,
baby. Let’s also talk about how important it is in cultivating a
flourishing relationship. Sex is simple. The more you have it, the more
you want it. The other side of that is true as well. The less you have
it, the less you want it — and, unfortunately, the less you'll feel
connected to your partner. Keep your sex life alive and interesting.
"Spicing it up" is not just meant for the kitchen.
No Comparisons
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or even if it is,
it might not be the kind of grass you would like. We often compare our
lives to those of others — what jobs people have, their homes, their
clothes. And with the help of social media, we tend to compare our
relationships as well. But the happiest of couples don’t look to see
what the grass looks like on the other side. They are happy with the
view out their own front door.
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