Things not to say on your first date

Couple sitting at bar and looking irritated

Things not to say on your first date

Dating can be a mine-field of misunderstandings. It is easy to feel uptight preparing for a first date because in the back of our minds, we’re always worried about things not to say to potentially offend the other person.

Nothing kills the mood (or your chances at a first-date hook-up) like a poorly timed joke or a political comment that flirts with the offensive.

People are on guard while dating, and the reality is that often the other person might be looking for a reason to not like you.

Listed below are phrases you should absolutely never say on a date. Context is usually important but uttering these statements will never play out well.

 

“I Would Pay But I Don’t Want To Offend You”- At first this may seem very considerate, but in reality it gives the impression that someone is an asshole who is threatened by feminism. People aren’t often offended when someone offers to pay… if they actually have a problem with it they’ll say so.

 

“My Ex Used To _______”- I don’t care if someone’s ex figured out a way to cure cancer. No one, I repeat, no one should tell their date about their ex on a first, second, or even third date. People need to give the illusion that The Ex is long gone and buried.

 

“Do You Usually Dress Like This?”- Because all dates are going to hear is “I actually hate the way you dress, please don’t be yourself”. It may seem like a totally weird thing to say, but you’d be shocked by how many people have said this to me when they finally meet me after chatting on Tinder for weeks.

 

 

 

“Can I Kiss You?”- If someone is feeling it and wants to start getting physical, it will be clear! Asking permission for a first kiss is usually a mood killer. Consent is sexy, but so is not asking permission when you know the mood is right.

 

“I Have To Teach You About Good Music”- Because what the other person hears is that every musician they just said they love, sucks.

 

“She/He Will Have ________”- Unless someone has said specifically that they want their date to order for them, no one should assume they do! Sometimes they want a burger when they’ve been ordered a salad!

 

“When You Meet My Mum…”- Again, it’s probably too soon on a first date to talk about meeting the parents. Some dates will be really into it and be flattered by the desire to be included in someone else’s life… while others will be extremely creeped out.

 

“We Should Totally Do _______”– It can be really overwhelming on a first date to start planning far into the future. As sweet as it may seem to appear proactive and into the person you’re on a date with… people need to wait until they’re ‘official’ before they start talking ‘we’.

 

“Can I Kiss You?”- If someone is feeling it and wants to start getting physical, it will be clear! Asking permission for a first kiss is usually a mood killer. Consent is sexy, but so is not asking permission when you know the mood is right.

 

“I Have To Teach You About Good Music”- Because what the other person hears is that every musician they just said they love, sucks.

 

“She/He Will Have ________”- Unless someone has said specifically that they want their date to order for them, no one should assume they do! Sometimes they want a burger when they’ve been ordered a salad!

 

“When You Meet My Mum…”- Again, it’s probably too soon on a first date to talk about meeting the parents. Some dates will be really into it and be flattered by the desire to be included in someone else’s life… while others will be extremely creeped out.

 

“We Should Totally Do _______”– It can be really overwhelming on a first date to start planning far into the future. As sweet as it may seem to appear proactive and into the person you’re on a date with… people need to wait until they’re ‘official’ before they start talking ‘we’.